If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
only if we run a train.
done.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
