I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize