I'm so fucking centered right now
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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