she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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