its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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