so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
