she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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