i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
