Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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