Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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