i think i have two assholes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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