Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
