TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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