im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
