You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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