I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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