have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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