When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I need to align my fucking chakras
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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