Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
