We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
