go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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