he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
