the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
