i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
