She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
