We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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