we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
