I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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