On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
