What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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