I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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