man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
