**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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