**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
