She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
