Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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