Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
