She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
