Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
