it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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