I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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