There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
