That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
