I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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