I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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