I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
