her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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