Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
we should paint friendship bongs
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