I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
