I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
