i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
