So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
