Plan B is the new Plan A
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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