there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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