Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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