I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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