you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize