i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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