that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
