Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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