So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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