There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Someone stole a lamp last night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
