yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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